Bay Leaves with Chrysanthemum

Hands. Filthy hands: touching in the most peculiar places. Strange, foreign and painful.

Faceless strangers; He would introduce-no, more like force- me to. They would tear me apart, spit on me, hit and would do things to me. Au contraire to what is believed; the pleasure never came….just pain….and the emptiness of guilt that comes with it. After some time, my mind has turned so accustom to such vile act that it can block itself-refusing to record any of it to my memories.

Precious memories….I do not want to lose. Precious memories: of my pleasant past. Precious memories before I was forcefully pimp by my uncle. Precious memories: of my long gone parents-my refuge. Gone were the days where I could be a normal teenager. Gone were the days where I could sleep peacefully. Gone were my days of freedom. Gone was my home. Gone were my protectors….Gone.

I look at my reflection in the mirror. I saw a girl who lost everything. I saw a girl who is just a shriveled version of the past. I saw a girl who is a prisoner of a horrid fate. I saw-.. a disgusting version of myself. I let a sigh escape from my lips as I step into the shower.

I turn the shower full blast with hot water. I let the water drum on my body for a minute-to let my body adjust to the heat of the water- before I start scrubbing my skin aggressively-ignoring the painful sting of soap penetrating to my wound. I felt the need to cleanse myself-destroying any evidence sex. After all, I don’t need any more reminder of me being used.  After that, I lessen the intensity of the water. I drop my hips to the slippery floor tile. I let my tense body unwind with the help of the steady beat of the water to my body. It was only this time I can finally relax. Tears began to roll and mix itself with the torrent of water. It was only now, then, I let myself to cry.  Finally I can get it out…FINALY I can cry….Finally I can show my emotion….

It was my pride that kept me from crying-no matter how much abuse I get. No matter how many hits slap or punch, I will not cry. No matter how many verbal abuses hurl at me, no tear will drop. I will not give them the benefit of seeing me cry. I have to hold it in. Not a single tear. None. This is my only victory. It’s what’s left of my dignity. I don’t care if it’s childish but this is what kept me sane.

After I’ve finish crying, I stood up and turn the shower off. I dry myself with the towel. I got dressed.

BANG

The door crash opens with a loud “Bang”. My uncle looms dangerously at the entrance. His crooked smile turns sinister as I saw him holding a knife on his right hand. The pungent smell of cheap alcohol that came from his mouth invades the air.

‘SHIT, he is going to kill me’ my mind warns me. My expression quickly twisted from to horrify as I know what is to come. He staggers aggressively towards me. My scalp screams in pain as he pulls me –through my hair- to the bed. Any retaliation was greeted with a slap or a punch. He pinned my hands with his right hand as he unbuckle his pants with the other. All efforts for breaking free were futile. He tried to strip my clothing. I could feel my blood pumping into my head; desperately finding a solution to this ordeal.

“I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!” fear fueled my courage to scream those words out. All of a sudden, adrenaline course through my legs. I concentrate all my energy to my legs and use all of them in full to land a hit on his abdomen. He hurls himself out of the bed in pain. I seized this chance to make an escape. 

With haste I ran out of the house- no caring about what state my clothing is, not caring about shoes….not caring about anything but my freedom. Fear is what stopping me from taking a glance back to the house. My mind was so focused on running that directions of where I am going were the last thing on my mind. My legs muscles sing to me in a high pitched pain but I kept running-slowing down was not an option. I just kept going until my legs finally gave out. I feel to my knees, panting heavily from the lack of air to my lungs. It is only now then I let my head turn to check if I was being chased.

To my relieved, there was no one. I drew in a sigh (or a pant) of relive. Slowly my body cools down. My mind grew a little calmer. I started to survey my surrounding.

Good ending

The night sky seems to light the road with its stars- like a chandelier in a grand romantic ballroom. The air seems cool because of the lack of sunlight. The exquisite smell of freedom began to dawn on me. Hot tears roll out of my orbs. Hot happy tears. Happiness overcame my heart.

At last I’m free.

Bad ending

Suddenly a hand violently reaches out to my mouth. Muffling any words coming out of my house.
“Cheeky aren’t you eh?” the familiar cruel voice of my uncle, whispering to my ears. His voiced filled with anger and dark cruel joy. “It’s fine; you’ll be nothing but a caged bird”

Everything my world turns dark in crimson then black…Black as a pitch.

Normal ending

It was my home. My old real home. My refuge.  It seem my legs has led me to where I originally belong. I look at the house in pure nostalgia. Everything looks the same except there a family living in it. A happy family. A real happy family.

“I was like that…I used to be like that…I used to have a real family i-“ A few emotion -jealousy, anger, sadness and finally despair- cloud my mind. Chaos was happening inside my head. My tears kept flowing in despair.

 Hearing a car engine coming fast going this way, my body automatically timed itself to jump at the road. At a precised moment I jump and the car crash into me. From that moment, time seemed to slow down. I could see the shocked expression of the driver as his car had an impact on my body. My body soars high off the ground. There was no pain, everything felt so serene as I fly up. I took my last glance to see the beautiful nightly stars. As I close my eyes, my body withdrew itself on a cold asphalt ground. My mind slowly succumbs to the darkness. ‘Ah~ sweet freedom’ my mind comments before my conscious is completely obliterated by the darkness.

Bay Leaf= no change til death

Chrysanthemum= A heart left to desolation.

 1 sentence pitch: After losing her family, Gabrielle was raised by her uncle but he raises her as a prostitute, Gabrielle seeks freedom to which she ( fail to- bad end)achieved. (In death)

____
The all endings could be canon.
In normal i had an idea how to continue but it will a be a novel.
-lost memories...help by driver etc
Song that inspire me
Monster-Meg and Dia
Roses-Meg & Dia
Many Funerals- Eisley
Mumford and Sons - the Cave